Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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