Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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