That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
