The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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