Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
