hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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