Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
