I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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