he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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