idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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