No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
