Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
