I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
