My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
