If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
