Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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