true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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