his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
