your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
