I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
