Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
