found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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