North Korea, Best Korea!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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