he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
