tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
