I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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