discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
