Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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