I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
