margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
