Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
