There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
