sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
