Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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