Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
