remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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