stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
