Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
