planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
