when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I currently don't understand fingers.
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