It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
