Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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