Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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