he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
