Whod you bang
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
