I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
