pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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