soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
