My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
