Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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