what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
