just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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