I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
