i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
