u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
