you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
