And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
