Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
