why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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