oh god the rape fog is back!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
